Thursday, April 16, 2009

I Muddled in Puddles

I joined a sport's team! No, it is not affiliated with anything. There are really only two members: me and Cameo...What's the sport you ask? Puddled jumping--midnight puddle jumping that is! very cold midnight puddle jumping, very cold-wet midnight puddle jumping, very awesome midnight cold puddling jumping in shorts...night cold midnight....fabulous puddle jumping...life changing...midnight cold wet puddled jumping..hypothermic...fabulous exciting puddle jumping! I am hard core...the hardest core...diamond core should be my name! I am officially diamond core...Moving on !
This grand event began with a traditional Tuesday Taco at Cafe Rio, every Tuesday, I get 1.50 tacos. Luckily, this Tuesday, Cameo was my companion, as she always is on taco Tuesday...but this night was different...this night was spectacular.
After tacos, Cameo and I began to drive in the Walmart parking lot when a puddle of water seeped its way into our hearts. The thought pranced in my head: I want to jump in puddles, but shamefully I was ashamed of this idea for I thought Cameo would not appreciate it...but I was wrong, for it was not even a moment after I had shut down that thought that my dearest Cameo piped up and said: DO YOU WANT TO JUMP IN PUDDLES? I believe my answer was along the lines of: HELL YES! and so it began...we each went back to our own abodes and dressed for the pouring rain--t-shirts and shorts! I questioned Cameo about whether or not shoes would be appropriate..she was going with out and I followed suite( a mistake) as we trudged up the hill in shorts, t-shirts, and pouring rain with bare feet, a tingle began in our toes (lets not say tingle...lets say stabbing pain..tripped its way into our peds)..we almost gave up because the pain was so immense and we almost thought our trip fruitless and sad...then I suggested..."hey let's go get shoes on" and so we did. and that is when the pure fun began. we traveled about campus hopping about in various tiny puddles, until.....................



We found the Holy Grail of Puddles: The Queen Mother we called it. It was deep and right in the road, so when cars drove by it splashed us. There was enough run and jump space for the masses....this was a great night....greatest night of my life....Until I got sick later that evening and threw up!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I've Sold Myself for the Low Low Price of 19.99+.01

Please don't judge me. I would not judge you!.....I sold myself for money! Yesterday, while I was plundering about ways to find money, the heavens opened up and whispered a little ditty in my ear: "Sell something!" it said! Immediately I cascaded my eyes about the room to find an object the would catch a pretty penny, but to my dismay I found not a single "sellable" item. I began to lose hope and cry, but just as the tears began to make their way down my cheek, I caught a reflection of myself in the mirror and found my item. I began brainstorming ways I could sell myself. My first thought: "hookering" (my own word) Then I realized that I really didn't want to do that, you know for moral reasons and so on...so I thought well maybe I will just be an escort? So I looked it up online...and did you know that escorting leads to "hookering?" so no no no. I said. Next I thought what if I just sell part of my body-maybe become like a chicken and sell my eggs? but again, I had a moral disagreement with myself, even though the material payoff would be great--5,000$(I cha-cha-ed it); I really do not want little Melissa's running around creating controversial blogs and such! So I sold my plasma and for 4 and a half hours of plasma service I received 20$