Monday, June 1, 2009

Colin Firth

Ah blog blog blog. I have officially convinced myself to write another blog at this very moment. Well, to you this person reading this...this is technically not at this very moment...I must tell everyone I am very happy! I have moved into my logan apartment and I am living with my good friend Ashley Romrell! She is awesome! Awesome Possum. I really don't want to tell a story I decided that this post I will just name some of my favorite things or least favorite things or things I like or things that I have seen or just things in General! here goes

    I love Colin Firth.

            • I do not care how much older he is than me...

            • I am still really attracted to him.

            • I would totally date him!

            • I will hate someone if they do not smell right!

            • I love when Guys can belt really high

            • I wish I was cool enough to pull off punk.

            • I wish to be the lead singer of a rock band!

            • I have had 5 celebrity encounters in my life!

            • and 700 hundred celebrity crushes

            • dr. phil being one of the five

            • and one of the 700

            • and Justin Guarini being another of the five...

            • and a new edition to the 700

            • I love the color code

            • I will share anything I have

            • besides a guy

            • but even then

            • I am willing to work with you

            • just kidding

            • I am being funny

            • A great deal of my mind is focused on making others laugh

            • I have a crush on Nick Jonas

  • He wants me to keep rockin'

  • mean people suck

  • so do stinky people

  • but I would not tell them that to their face

  • because that would make me a mean person

  • and they suck

  • I know the Gospel is true

  • I basically have planned my whole wedding in my head

  • I want to make my own wedding cake

  • I hope Dan Clark will let me use his back yard

  • I hate war and am terrified by it

  • I would marry Jack Black

  • and Kevin James and

  • anyone who can make me laugh

  • I love pickles

  • and pickled peppers

  • and picked corn

  • and pickled bamboo shoots

  • I wish to get a concealed weapons permit,

  • just so I can have a concealed weapon

  • I spent 18 dollars on the last hair product I bought

  • I don't even use it that much

  • but it smells good

  • so it was a good investment

  • I want glamour shots of myself in a big hat

  • sometimes I look at myself dramatically in the mirror

  • sometimes that mirror looks dramatically back at me

  • I think I want to jump off a waterfall

  • If I could create my own heaven I know exactly what it would look like.

  • It would have a waterfall

  • Then I would jump off it

  • I hate when people insult the way they look

  • especially guys

  • it's stupid

  • and annoying

  • and no one wants to hear it

  • I hate it when people are really blunt

  • sometimes I am really blunt

  • I am sorry

  • I had a dream last night about a giant lady bug

  • a kitten came out of the lady bug

  • and then the lady bug started to become a bigger flatter flakier more colorful bug

  • really grossed me out

  • and scared the hell out of me

  • I have goosebumps right now thinking about it

  • I have huge lady bug prints on one of my pillows

  • so I can't sleep anymore

  • I watched this thing the other night about how the mayans predicted the world would flood and we would all die in 2012

  • I hope I am married before then

  • because well you know

  • I wish I took to naming things

  • like people do with their cars or phones or iPod

  • I try but they never stick

  • so I just end up calling them MiPod or My phone or my car

  • not very creative

  • My whole family does this

  • We once had a bird named fred

  • but we just called it bird

  • and a cat name baby

  • only because it was a baby

  • My sister always names her animals human names

  • and then I end up really liking them...

  • but I can't use them because

  • I refuse to tell my kids they were named after an animal

  • maybe I just will name them that and not tell them an animal shares their name

  • Names of the animals my sister has had or has:

  • Abigail, Emery, Bella, Ellie, Sasha,Piper and BOOGER

  • our cat is named baby

  • My family and I once pulled over and asked a cat where to find a cat we had that ran away

  • We said "hey kitty, hey kitty"

  • in a Grindy Voice

  • That cat refused to talk

  • so we drove away

  • When I got home I watched Bridget Jones' Diary

  • Which has colin firth in It

  • I love Colin Firth

Thursday, April 16, 2009

I Muddled in Puddles

I joined a sport's team! No, it is not affiliated with anything. There are really only two members: me and Cameo...What's the sport you ask? Puddled jumping--midnight puddle jumping that is! very cold midnight puddle jumping, very cold-wet midnight puddle jumping, very awesome midnight cold puddling jumping in shorts...night cold midnight....fabulous puddle changing...midnight cold wet puddled jumping..hypothermic...fabulous exciting puddle jumping! I am hard core...the hardest core...diamond core should be my name! I am officially diamond core...Moving on !
This grand event began with a traditional Tuesday Taco at Cafe Rio, every Tuesday, I get 1.50 tacos. Luckily, this Tuesday, Cameo was my companion, as she always is on taco Tuesday...but this night was different...this night was spectacular.
After tacos, Cameo and I began to drive in the Walmart parking lot when a puddle of water seeped its way into our hearts. The thought pranced in my head: I want to jump in puddles, but shamefully I was ashamed of this idea for I thought Cameo would not appreciate it...but I was wrong, for it was not even a moment after I had shut down that thought that my dearest Cameo piped up and said: DO YOU WANT TO JUMP IN PUDDLES? I believe my answer was along the lines of: HELL YES! and so it began...we each went back to our own abodes and dressed for the pouring rain--t-shirts and shorts! I questioned Cameo about whether or not shoes would be appropriate..she was going with out and I followed suite( a mistake) as we trudged up the hill in shorts, t-shirts, and pouring rain with bare feet, a tingle began in our toes (lets not say tingle...lets say stabbing pain..tripped its way into our peds)..we almost gave up because the pain was so immense and we almost thought our trip fruitless and sad...then I suggested..."hey let's go get shoes on" and so we did. and that is when the pure fun began. we traveled about campus hopping about in various tiny puddles, until.....................

We found the Holy Grail of Puddles: The Queen Mother we called it. It was deep and right in the road, so when cars drove by it splashed us. There was enough run and jump space for the masses....this was a great night....greatest night of my life....Until I got sick later that evening and threw up!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I've Sold Myself for the Low Low Price of 19.99+.01

Please don't judge me. I would not judge you!.....I sold myself for money! Yesterday, while I was plundering about ways to find money, the heavens opened up and whispered a little ditty in my ear: "Sell something!" it said! Immediately I cascaded my eyes about the room to find an object the would catch a pretty penny, but to my dismay I found not a single "sellable" item. I began to lose hope and cry, but just as the tears began to make their way down my cheek, I caught a reflection of myself in the mirror and found my item. I began brainstorming ways I could sell myself. My first thought: "hookering" (my own word) Then I realized that I really didn't want to do that, you know for moral reasons and so I thought well maybe I will just be an escort? So I looked it up online...and did you know that escorting leads to "hookering?" so no no no. I said. Next I thought what if I just sell part of my body-maybe become like a chicken and sell my eggs? but again, I had a moral disagreement with myself, even though the material payoff would be great--5,000$(I cha-cha-ed it); I really do not want little Melissa's running around creating controversial blogs and such! So I sold my plasma and for 4 and a half hours of plasma service I received 20$

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Blogs about Blogs while Blogging

Hello My New Fellow Bloggians,
Welcome to my page. I am hoping that you are saying “welcome” back to me, or your computer screen that represents me. I am taking my first baby steps into the world of the blog unknown! It is interesting, although right now I feel very alone—not a soul in this computer lab wants to celebrate this decision with me (I know I asked them).

I am surprised it has taken me so long to join this blognomenon (phenomenon and blog). Why did it take this long? Let’s go over the possibilities...........

1. Could it be: I am in the witness protection program and might be found by the mobsters who want to kill me via blog?

Answer: No, it could not, because although I am sure my grandfather is in the Mexican Mafia I don't believe they have guff with me. Plus, I would never rat out a friend, if they were willing to pay me off.

2. Then am I: Afraid of things that are trendy just because they are trendy and I can not absolutely be trendy because everyone else is trendy and trends condescend?

Answer: could not. Because it is silly not to like something just because it is trendy. You like what you like whether people like it or not. I like Cafe Rio fired grilled steak salad, Justin Timberlake, Disneyland, Gossip Girl, Twilight; I also like cereal for breakfast, and brushing my hair, and showering everyday, and talking to people and breathing in oxygen, and drinking water: All very Trendy things.

3. Then is it: that I am too busy for blogging because my life is filled with innumerable numbers of numbers of other people’s numbers and 75 papers due this semester that have to be in Iambic pentameter and hand written on parchment paper and include Marxist theories and how they relate to the weather.

Answer: No it is not, because I am lax. Life is for living right now, not for pushing yourself so far to the limit, so that maybe someday, somewhere, somehow I will get what I want (please take note of the Westside Story reference and remember that Bernardo, Riff, and Tony all die.)

4. Then it must be: I do not have access to a computer all the time and I am therefore not in with the times?

Answer: Nope I have my own computer and I am on the times speed dial. The times and I are tight like the string of a flying kite! In fact, we even used to date.

5. What the Hedge is it you ask?

Answer: Rosebud!